Facilitating with Heart: Lessons from AMC Goole

By Jamie Challenger

When I first stepped into Andy’s Man Club Goole, I wasn’t there to lead, I was there to survive. Grief had hollowed me out. PTSD and fibromyalgia made every day a negotiation. But slowly, through shared stories and silent nods, I found something I hadn’t felt in a long time: connection.

Two years later, I’m a facilitator. Not because I have all the answers—but because I know what it’s like to need the room.

Here’s what I’ve learned about holding space, the hard way.

1. Every Chair Has a Story

When someone walks into the room for the first time, they often choose a seat quietly. That chair becomes part of their journey. Over time, we learn who prefers the corner, who sits near the kettle, who always arrives early. These small choices speak volumes. Facilitating means noticing, not just who’s there, but how they show up.

2. You Don’t Need to Fix Anyone

Facilitating isn’t about advice. It’s about presence. Some of the most powerful moments come when someone says, “I don’t know what to say,” and we let that silence breathe.

3. Tools Are Great, but Humanity Comes First

There are frameworks, exercises, and printable resources. They help. But what matters most is showing up with honesty.

Vulnerability isn’t a weakness—it’s the bridge.

4. Humour Heals

We’ve laughed about football, DIY disasters, and the weird things mental ill health makes you do. Laughter doesn’t erase pain, but it makes the load lighter. Sometimes, it’s the only thing that gets us through the night.

5. You’re Not Just Facilitating... You’re Witnessing

Every story shared is a gift. Every man who walks through that door is trusting you with something fragile. Honour it. Don’t rush it. And never forget: you’re part of something bigger than yourself.

Final Thought:   Facilitating with heart means showing up messy, real, and ready to listen. It means holding space for others while still healing yourself. And it means believing, even on the darkest days, that connection can save lives.